![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Don't Just Survive
a response to this - read first, and heed the posted content warnings
Don't just stay alive. Live.
He'd told her he would do anything for her, and he'd meant it, so he did. He lived.
The first year, two years, they were gone; it had taken that long before the oaths he'd sworn had pulled him back out - back in, to reality, to the city they'd called home. He picked up his life again where he'd left it, as best as he could, fighting the agony and the guilt, fighting the pain that threatened every night to push him, once more, off the edge of sanity.
If we come back, I'm going to find you. And you'd better be there.
He didn't believe it. No one came back from death; even if she did, it wouldn't be the woman he'd known for all those decades. She wouldn't know him. Even if she had her power, she wouldn't think to Find him. Why would she? They would have never met.
But she'd ordered him to live, to be there if she came for him, so he did. He held on, with a grip stronger than death itself, stronger than the corpse that haunted his dreams, because it was what she'd wanted. It was what she'd told him to do.
Everyone knew, by then; it wasn't a secret any more, how he was marked by her Name, how he had sworn himself to her - not until death. Until she released him. And now she was dead, years dead, and he was still bound.
"Sir."
He looked up from his desk - he was still teaching at her school, although he wouldn't take Students. He couldn't; taking responsibility for himself was all he could manage, these days. He looked up and at the door was a messenger from the Alpha guards, looking anxious.
"What is it?" It couldn't be an emergency, or they wouldn't just be sending a messenger to visit him. But it must be important, or they'd just deliver a letter...
"There's... there's a young girl at the gate. We think she's asking for you; she said the blond warrior."
"It's possible. I'll come by after classes."
"Sir." The guard bowed. "Her name is Thistle; I'll let her know."
Thistle. Something about the name made him pause, made him gesture for the messenger to wait. Thistle. It was--
That's what my name means, you know. Cya's voice, from a long, long time before. Prickly, like a thistle.
He was on his feet before he realized it. "This girl. What does she look like?"
The messenger stepped back, looking alarmed. "Um, slim, freckled, dark hair, green--"
He was out the door before the word finished, racing towards the gate. It couldn't be, it couldn't be possible, but it was too much of a coincidence. It couldn't be her. It couldn't not be her.
He raced into the Alpha gate guard room, catching himself to a stop on the doorframe. There was a girl, maybe ten years old, sitting inside and waiting.
It was her.
A part of him wondered, in the back of his mind, if he'd lost touch with reality again. The rest of him stepped forward, then dropped to his knees, bowing, his antlers scraping the ground.
"My lady." His voice sounded broken, and he didn't care. "You came back."
Don't just stay alive. Live.
He'd told her he would do anything for her, and he'd meant it, so he did. He lived.
The first year, two years, they were gone; it had taken that long before the oaths he'd sworn had pulled him back out - back in, to reality, to the city they'd called home. He picked up his life again where he'd left it, as best as he could, fighting the agony and the guilt, fighting the pain that threatened every night to push him, once more, off the edge of sanity.
If we come back, I'm going to find you. And you'd better be there.
He didn't believe it. No one came back from death; even if she did, it wouldn't be the woman he'd known for all those decades. She wouldn't know him. Even if she had her power, she wouldn't think to Find him. Why would she? They would have never met.
But she'd ordered him to live, to be there if she came for him, so he did. He held on, with a grip stronger than death itself, stronger than the corpse that haunted his dreams, because it was what she'd wanted. It was what she'd told him to do.
Everyone knew, by then; it wasn't a secret any more, how he was marked by her Name, how he had sworn himself to her - not until death. Until she released him. And now she was dead, years dead, and he was still bound.
"Sir."
He looked up from his desk - he was still teaching at her school, although he wouldn't take Students. He couldn't; taking responsibility for himself was all he could manage, these days. He looked up and at the door was a messenger from the Alpha guards, looking anxious.
"What is it?" It couldn't be an emergency, or they wouldn't just be sending a messenger to visit him. But it must be important, or they'd just deliver a letter...
"There's... there's a young girl at the gate. We think she's asking for you; she said the blond warrior."
"It's possible. I'll come by after classes."
"Sir." The guard bowed. "Her name is Thistle; I'll let her know."
Thistle. Something about the name made him pause, made him gesture for the messenger to wait. Thistle. It was--
That's what my name means, you know. Cya's voice, from a long, long time before. Prickly, like a thistle.
He was on his feet before he realized it. "This girl. What does she look like?"
The messenger stepped back, looking alarmed. "Um, slim, freckled, dark hair, green--"
He was out the door before the word finished, racing towards the gate. It couldn't be, it couldn't be possible, but it was too much of a coincidence. It couldn't be her. It couldn't not be her.
He raced into the Alpha gate guard room, catching himself to a stop on the doorframe. There was a girl, maybe ten years old, sitting inside and waiting.
It was her.
A part of him wondered, in the back of his mind, if he'd lost touch with reality again. The rest of him stepped forward, then dropped to his knees, bowing, his antlers scraping the ground.
"My lady." His voice sounded broken, and he didn't care. "You came back."
no subject
He’s still got a while before it gets remotely easier…
https://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/1288325.html
no subject
no subject