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I should be working on RCC right now
He kept staring down the street, watching the carts rattle by and the still-few shop fronts, still with that strange thoughtful expression, and she waited, watching him with her nerves on edge, waiting for something to happen, for the explosion that so often happened when he acted differently.
"You built a real city," he repeated softly for the third time, then suddenly his gaze shifted as he looked at her - looked, as though seeing her for the first time, as though he was trying to place who she was. She waited, her words caught in her throat by a fear she couldn't show. He'd always remembered her - remembered his crew, even if he forgot other people or events. What would she do if he forgot her...?
His next words came unexpectedly. "We aren't teenagers anymore," he said, still softly, and finally looked away again, back down the street. "We haven't been for a really long time, have we."
"You built a real city," he repeated softly for the third time, then suddenly his gaze shifted as he looked at her - looked, as though seeing her for the first time, as though he was trying to place who she was. She waited, her words caught in her throat by a fear she couldn't show. He'd always remembered her - remembered his crew, even if he forgot other people or events. What would she do if he forgot her...?
His next words came unexpectedly. "We aren't teenagers anymore," he said, still softly, and finally looked away again, back down the street. "We haven't been for a really long time, have we."
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"I... no, I didn't know I had a house." He couldn't imagine it. Having a house of his own - a home, not at the Ranch (and without Zita, he thought with a painful twist in his chest).
He looked around at Cya's house, then at Cya, then down at his sword. It wasn't what he'd had in mind, but... it could work. (Maybe if he went along with it, she would stop worrying?) One more weird new thing wasn't going to make things worse than they already were... Hopefully.
Looking back up at Cya, he started to speak - how is Mai-chan? What's she up to? - but the words caught in his throat. He didn't want to see her - he didn't want her to see him. Not like this, not while he felt like everything could fall apart any moment.
"Sure, you can show me where it is." Her request that he visit remains notably unanswered.
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(She remembered when he'd gone off to fight... whatever he'd gone off to fight. She remembered tracking him down. She remembered locking him in her barn. It wasn't fair, she supposed. It wasn't giving him freedom. Sometimes, she thought about just letting him go. The thought never lasted long.)
"It's a few blocks away." She gestured out the door. She'd spent a lot of time thinking about where to put Leo's house - and other residences. She wanted her friends, her crew, close. She didn't want to suffocate them or herself. "This way."
It was a nice house; all of the houses were nice. She'd built them herself after all. A low wall separated it from the neighbors, and inside she'd furnished it with minimal, Japanese-style furniture.
She'd been fine, leading Leo to the house, showing him inside. She was fine until she looked at him again. She swallowed hard around a lump.
"It's all yours. As long as you want it - no." She shook her head. "Forever. this corner of my city is yours."
Her city had no corners, of course. It was made in circles. It was a ridiculously poetic and inaccurate thing to say. But instead of trying to fix it, she took a step backwards. "If you want some time alone...?"
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By the time they got into the house (his house), he felt like he was practically vibrating with the tension from holding himself together passably. And inside... He blinked in surprise, though he really shouldn't have been surprised. It wasn't as though his interest in Japanese... things was a secret. Almost self-consciously, he tugged at the sleeve of his kimono, looking around the room.
"It's nice." It wasn't the right thing to say. It wasn't even a particularly accurate thing to say. It was... more than he deserved, probably. (He was not thinking about that.) "Thank you."
He rested a hand on his sword hilt - not to draw it, but just... because it was there - and glanced around again before looking at Cya. It wasn't that he wanted time alone. What he wanted... well, he wanted Zita. He wanted a place to hide.
This was as good a place as any.
"I have a lot to think about." He pulled another smile out of somewhere, this one barely a shadow of the expression and probably exhausting his smile reserves.
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She did her best not to be offended by the nice. She didn't even know if he was seeing the house, what he was seeing. She hugged him, briefly and carefully, and stepped back as quickly as she could without making it look quick. Her heart was not breaking. She didn't have room for melodramatic shit like that.
"I'll be around." She smiled crookedly. "It's my city, after all."
She hesitated for a moment in the doorway. "There's rice in the cupboard and canned veg, some whole spices. The milkman comes around once a week, if you want dairy."
She stepped out of the door, wanting to say something else, having nothing else to day. "...Take care of yourself, Leo, okay?"
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Leo looks around at the room again; the house, built by Cya for him, furnished especially for him, stocked with food for him. He couldn't possibly deserve it. (They were crew, this is what crew did, wasn't it?) (But he couldn't possibly...)
It was, in short, entirely too much. Everything, not just the house, but the city, the realizations, the everything, it was too much.
You're being rude, whispered a corner of his mind, and it was true, and he didn't want to be rude, especially not to Cya, not after this, not while she was worried about him, but honesty, he thought, was beyond him at the moment. He looked back at the door just behind him, at Cya just outside, and on an impulse he gave an abrupt bow of gratitude.
"Kouei ni zonjimasu." His voice wavered as the words almost - almost - wouldn't come out. (She probably didn't understand them anyway, but that... that was less important at the moment.) Then, hurriedly before he broke down completely, he closed the door.
(Scene?)
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