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Bad News
Matt kicked the apartment door shut behind him, arms occupied by several bags of groceries. "Maybe someday, someone'll get the damn door when I knock."
"You got back just in time." Ben, his roommate, completely ignored the complaint and pointed at the television from his spot on the couch. "Look at this."
Matt put the bags on the kitchen counter and wandered back into the living room to see what was so exciting. The local news was on, showing aerial footage of what looked like a bunch of houses or a small town, completely covered in leafy green vines. "Kudzu moving north again?"
"No, man, it's grapes. They're saying they just appeared pretty much overnight. The whole fucking town's buried in 'em." Ben shook his head. "One hell of a prank. How do you even get that many grape vines?"
"...Huh." Matt looked at the television again. He knew a couple people who could've, but so far as he knew, none of them were near Virginia. Besides, he would hope none of them would be so stupid as to do something that... flashy. "Good question."
"There's all kinds of this shit on the news lately. Like some town in Pennsylvania where people're reporting wolves howling." Ben shook his head again. "It's like a bunch of people all over the country got bored of summer vacation at the same time."
"Yeah, well, if you decide to bury the town in grapes, don't get arrested. Finding a new roommate's a pain."
"Fuck you," Ben said cheerfully.
Days later...
Matt rolled over and pulled a pillow over his head, grumbling about loud televisions and mornings before peering blearily at the clock. One fifty six; not exactly morning anymore. Whatever. He hadn't gotten back until after four in the morning.
"Yo man, I know you're awake." Ben's voice drifted into the room over the television.
"Shut up," Matt mumbled, but dragged himself out of bed anyway and shuffled into the living room, yawning. "'Course you did, your fucking TV woke me. What're you even watching?"
"The news."
"...At this time of day?" He squinted at the television. "What's going on?"
"Jesus, Matt, I know you party a lot but do you live under a fucking rock? The whole fucking world's gone crazy."
That woke him up. "What do you mean, 'gone crazy'?"
"Just look." Ben pointed at the screen. "The latest is some town in New Mexico, everyone's having like simultaneous orgasms. Cats flooding this one block from like a fifty mile radius. Some nutbags in Europe are throwing fits over a glowing 'portal'." He put air quotes around the word. "And a bunch of other weird shit. Not to mention all the murders."
"The what?" Matt wasn't paying attention to the television anymore, staring instead at his roommate.
"Shit, man, you really do live under a rock." Ben looked at him incredulously. "The number's climbing all over the country; serial killers, apparently. They're really violent; campus security sent out a 'be aware' email and everything. I know you check your email."
"I usually ignore stuff from school," Matt said absently, his thoughts on more important things than emails. "These things are happening everywhere?"
"Don't believe me, go look it up. It's all over the internet."
"I believe you." Matt stared soberly at the television again. He kind of wished he didn't.
"You got back just in time." Ben, his roommate, completely ignored the complaint and pointed at the television from his spot on the couch. "Look at this."
Matt put the bags on the kitchen counter and wandered back into the living room to see what was so exciting. The local news was on, showing aerial footage of what looked like a bunch of houses or a small town, completely covered in leafy green vines. "Kudzu moving north again?"
"No, man, it's grapes. They're saying they just appeared pretty much overnight. The whole fucking town's buried in 'em." Ben shook his head. "One hell of a prank. How do you even get that many grape vines?"
"...Huh." Matt looked at the television again. He knew a couple people who could've, but so far as he knew, none of them were near Virginia. Besides, he would hope none of them would be so stupid as to do something that... flashy. "Good question."
"There's all kinds of this shit on the news lately. Like some town in Pennsylvania where people're reporting wolves howling." Ben shook his head again. "It's like a bunch of people all over the country got bored of summer vacation at the same time."
"Yeah, well, if you decide to bury the town in grapes, don't get arrested. Finding a new roommate's a pain."
"Fuck you," Ben said cheerfully.
Days later...
Matt rolled over and pulled a pillow over his head, grumbling about loud televisions and mornings before peering blearily at the clock. One fifty six; not exactly morning anymore. Whatever. He hadn't gotten back until after four in the morning.
"Yo man, I know you're awake." Ben's voice drifted into the room over the television.
"Shut up," Matt mumbled, but dragged himself out of bed anyway and shuffled into the living room, yawning. "'Course you did, your fucking TV woke me. What're you even watching?"
"The news."
"...At this time of day?" He squinted at the television. "What's going on?"
"Jesus, Matt, I know you party a lot but do you live under a fucking rock? The whole fucking world's gone crazy."
That woke him up. "What do you mean, 'gone crazy'?"
"Just look." Ben pointed at the screen. "The latest is some town in New Mexico, everyone's having like simultaneous orgasms. Cats flooding this one block from like a fifty mile radius. Some nutbags in Europe are throwing fits over a glowing 'portal'." He put air quotes around the word. "And a bunch of other weird shit. Not to mention all the murders."
"The what?" Matt wasn't paying attention to the television anymore, staring instead at his roommate.
"Shit, man, you really do live under a rock." Ben looked at him incredulously. "The number's climbing all over the country; serial killers, apparently. They're really violent; campus security sent out a 'be aware' email and everything. I know you check your email."
"I usually ignore stuff from school," Matt said absently, his thoughts on more important things than emails. "These things are happening everywhere?"
"Don't believe me, go look it up. It's all over the internet."
"I believe you." Matt stared soberly at the television again. He kind of wished he didn't.