inventrix: (kenshin leo)
inventrix ([personal profile] inventrix) wrote2016-11-24 03:03 pm
Entry tags:

Uncomfortable Developments

As soon as his teleporter vanished with Luke back to Cloverleaf, Leo spun around and strode to his tent, snapping out an order not to be disturbed by anything other than a genuine emergency. Once inside he started pacing - he always made sure he had enough room for pacing - and muttered a Working to soundproof the tent. Just in case.

He was being ridiculous. He'd agreed to this whole thing - well, of course he had, it'd been Cya asking. He'd said it was okay - well, no, he'd said he'd be okay with it, which they both knew wasn't the same thing. He'd known Cya was going to be Keeping Luke, that Luke was going to be at least technically under his command, that it was going to be for approximately a decade. And he'd said okay, sure, it'll be awkward and uncomfortable at first but Cya's had plenty of Kept before, he has plenty of other officers; he could get used to his old Mentor being both of those things. The underlying assumption that Luke must have been Kept before didn't even cross his conscious mind.

Except he hadn't been Kept before. (Sparks started arcing across the floor as he paced, but Leo ignored them; they couldn't hurt anything in here.) Cya was Luke's first Keeper, ever, and that, it turned out, complicated things enormously because it was making Leo intensely jealous. No, envious. No, jealous and envious, a combination that ached and stung and make him want to hit things until they broke into pieces, all at the same time.

He respected and even liked Luke, which Leo thought might actually be making the situation worse. He'd liked and respected him as a Mentor, as a teacher and warrior after graduating, and recently, the gap in experience and skill had shrunk enough that he'd thought they might even be becoming friends. He'd understood - even sympathized with - Luke's situation, being bound by oaths that forced him to watch, well. Addergoole. He'd completely agreed with Cya's idea to use the situation to free Luke from his oaths, once she'd explained it.

But.

Your first Keeping, it was different; good or bad, it burned itself into your psyche forever. Addergoole was mostly bad. Leo's had been no exception. But, how many times - how many dozens or hundreds of times - had he thought, what if, somehow, Cya had Kept him first, what if he'd had her instead of Eriko, then made himself stop because it was pointless and depressing? And here was Luke, being given exactly fucking that, and it turned out Leo's sympathy for his Mentor did in fact have a limit.

"It's not fair," he growled, wishing he was the type to stomp instead of just pace and burn off some of the aggression. It wasn't. Here was Cya, going out of her way to help one of their teachers after he'd beaten Leo half to death, getting him freed from oaths he hadn't wanted, committing to being responsible for him and Keeping him for an entire decade and there he was, avoiding her, like he didn't even know how miserable it was making him, how incredibly stupid it was to do; like he didn't even realize how much of a privilege it was that he could.

Leo stopped pacing, standing in the middle of the room, and took a deep breath. Several, focusing on the breathing to calm himself. Nothing had changed, not really. This was still what he'd agreed to. He could handle this, this and his army, because Cya had asked and he said he could. It was just going to really, really suck for a while.
aldersprig: (luke)

[personal profile] aldersprig 2016-11-25 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
Awww Leo. Awwwwwwwww. :-/
clare_dragonfly: woman with green feathery wings, text: stories last longer: but only by becoming only stories (Default)

[personal profile] clare_dragonfly 2016-11-27 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww Leo!